Paul Loveday
“Success leaves clues and so does failure,
we can learn from both.”
“Success leaves clues and so does failure,
we can learn from both.”
“Success leaves clues and so does failure,
we can learn from both.”
“Success leaves clues and so does failure,
we can learn from both.”
“Success leaves clues and so does failure,
we can learn from both.”
Words Matter
Words Matter
Words Matter
Words Matter
Words Matter
Whether you work for a boss or are self-employed, how you conduct yourself through the working day will paint an overall picture of you and it may not be as flattering as you would like to think.
This story is about looking good to your boss. If you are an employee, who’s the boss should be fairly obvious; if you work for yourself, think of your customers as your boss because they are the ones you really need to impress. Ideally, you want to look like a winner to everyone who interacts with you.
Think of your aural footprint as the evidence your words leave behind you; that footprint can speak volumes about you. I am sure you are familiar with the initials POW; that could mean Prisoner Of War, of course, Gloria Steinem (the famous feminist) might say, “Power Of Women, buddy and don’t you forget it!” It can also mean Power Of Words; words are important; choose yours carefully.
Winners and losers give away heaps of clues about their personality by what they say. Let’s start by looking at some of the phrases that are invariably part of the losers’ aural footprint.
THAT WON’T WORK… It may not have worked the first time it was tried but that might be because it was implemented by the wrong people, it may have been underfunded, it may have been poorly timed or it may have been poorly promoted. There are a hundred reasons why something may not have worked but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t work if handled differently and properly.
IT’S NOT MY FAULT… If you’re guilty of this, you need to lose it as quickly as possible because if it’s not your fault then it must be someone else’s fault and this just makes you sound like a blame shifter.
Your boss and your customer don’t really want to know who is to blame, they want the problem fixed. Instead of saying “It’s not my fault”, try this, “I don’t know how this problem came about but I’m sure I can fix it, would you like me to get started on that?” You have still made them aware that you didn’t create the problem but you have offered to fix it and that’s what they really want.
Of course, if you are to blame for the problem, promptly admit it and still offer to fix it. That’s far more impressive than wearing the ‘blame shifter’ tag.
THAT’S NOT FAIR… Well, that may have worked when you were in the fifth grade but it won’t fly in the harsh world of commercial reality. Anyone who’s been around the block a few times (and that includes most bosses and customers) knows that the world is not fair and they’re just not interested. They don’t want a feeble excuse, they want results. Focus on the results, forget the excuses and watch your star rise.
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO or I COULD TRY… ‘Might’ and ‘Try’ are words we use when we want to hedge our bets. This is also called prequalifying in the negative – you are warning people that the project may not work but once again, it won’t be your fault.
Imagine how much more impressive you appear when you say “This is a tough one but I’m up for it, I’m sure I can make this work”. Even if you fail, you will always be remembered as the person who was willing to pitch in and have a go.
THAT’S NOT MY JOB… This might be the career killer that tops them all. If you want to get ahead in business, you have to be prepared to move out of your comfort zone and reach to the level above you. It won’t always work and you may even receive a reprimand for exceeding your orders but the fact that you were willing to do it will be remembered favourably. Also, the added experience and personal growth is invaluable. Once your boss or customer realises you are prepared to go the extra distance, they will mentally promote you and guess who ultimately gets the company promotion or becomes the preferred supplier.
I CAN’T DO IT… Don’t be surprised if your boss or customer agrees with you and decides to replace you with someone who can do it! Negativity is one of the all-time greats when it comes to character traits that turn people away from you. Instead, talk about what you need to make it happen; maybe you need more time, more training or more budget. These are stepping stones along the path to making things happen and you will be admired for knowing what you need.
Obviously, the alternative is positivity; you could say, “This is difficult but you’ve come to the right person, I can make this happen”. Once you say you can do it, don’t be surprised when you find out you’re much more capable than you imagined.
I THINK… Too wishy washy, so much better to say, “I believe” or “I know”. Successful people are decisive and they are drawn to similar people. State where you stand, you will be admired for having firmly held convictions even if others may not agree with you.
IT’S NOT POSSIBLE… Really? There is very little that mankind has imagined that turned out to be impossible. When you say something is impossible, you’re really saying that you can’t see how to do it. Instead, keep those negative thoughts to yourself and go find someone to help you make it possible.
Bosses and customers are constantly told that their problem has no solution; you can’t imagine how grateful they are to someone who will go the extra mile for them.
Let me tell you an almost unbelievable story; I was recently dining at a local restaurant and I took a liking to an item on the entree menu. I told the waiter I would like a double helping of the entree as my main course and I would be happy to pay double the price. The waiter went away to consult with the manager who said that was not possible; if I wanted two entrees, they would have to bring two plates to the table. I allowed that to happen and when the waiter presented the two plates, I pushed the food from one plate onto the other, handed him the empty plate and said, “You see, it really was possible.” The restaurant’s response was to treat me like a leper for the rest of the night. I wonder if I’ll ever go back to that restaurant.
All this has really been about attitude. An attitude is no more than a way of thinking and that is the easiest change you can make in your life.
In summary, the aural footprint (and the attitude) of a loser is one of negativity and that is so easy to change. Before you hit your boss or customer with a negative response, flip it over and give them the alternate, positive response and watch your career or business blossom.